My Best Life

Photograph of a Monarch Butterfly. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you have trouble setting useful goals for yourself? In other words, do you simply go through life reacting to whatever comes your way?  I have met a lot of butterflies in my time. No, I don’t mean the beautiful creatures with wings that flutter around your flowers and bushes. I mean people.

In our quest for a life of freedom many people become butterflies. They just flutter around in their everyday lives trying to live free. Jobs, families, social responsibilites, etc. take up so much of our time that when we are left on our own, we plan to just do nothing or else react to whatever comes along.

Is that really freeing to you?  You already have so little time for the things that you really want to do in life that you may find that this attitude makes it even harder for you to accomplish anything.

While it is true that we do indeed at times just need to do nothing but rest, it is easy to fall into the habit of being totally unproductive when left to our own devices.  There is a better way.

What is your purpose for the days and weeks ahead? Do you have one? Is there some project that you want to do when you can get around to it?  It is much easier to create a goal and form a plan if you will define a purpose. Round to-its do not just happen. They must be planned.

If you want to go on a vacation then you must create a plan. You must determine whether you want to go somewhere or spend time at home. If you go somewhere then you must create some reservations and make sure that you have on hand everything you need to go to that place.

If you plan to stay at home then you must determine whether this is a time for rest where you will limit the people who know you are home, or whether you are going to use the time to complete some project.

Then you will need to plan what you need to be able to complete that project. Goals are important all along the way if you are going to be productive.

Many people set goals and form plans without thinking about it. It just comes naturally to them.  I am not talking to these people. I am talking to the people who constantly find themselves sidetracked and unable to complete the things that they start.

If you have difficulty with your own personal productivity or even have trouble being productive on the job, there are resources that can help you overcome the mindset that is hindering you.

To me, it is much more freeing to know that the things that I need or want to do will be completed at a certain time rather than worrying about how I am going to get something done. Then my free time is truly free so that I can plan it as I wish.

For a free ecourse that will be Your guide to getting (and staying!) motivated, achieving your goals and enjoying more free time!

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Later on I may create a longer page but for now I just wanted to get a few rambling thoughts on here. A little over a month ago my husband left this life and me, our sons and the rest of our family.  Even though he had been sick a long time his passing was a shock to us.  After all, he had been through so many things yet survived; but this time he didn’t.

People have been wonderfully supportive.  We have been blessed.  We have a faith that we will again be together in our heavenly home. I don’t know how people cope when there is no faith.

Have you ever noticed that when a spouse dies the one left behind often follows in a few short months or within just a year or two? I used to think that it was because families tend to have the same diets and habits and many times those diets and habits can drastically shorten one’s life.

Now I believe that there is more to it than that. Even though my eating habits were healthy before, I find that I lack the motivation to continue on with the same intensity that I previously  had.  Things just don’t seem to matter that much any more.

At one time I was working hard to develop an online income in order to be able to stay home and take care of hubby. I had the motivation but time was limited to be able to actually accomplish anything. Now the time is here but where is the motivation?

Different people deal with the loss of their spouse in different ways.  When the marriage has been good the one left behind often finds that their very life is so affected that it is difficult to move on to a life without that loved one. Everything that you see or hear in the world around you is something that you would have shared with the one who is now gone.

Some people have to keep everything the same way as though their loved one will soon be coming back.  It is as though moving or disposing of them is a dishonor to the one gone.

Others have to quickly dispose of personal belongings because the sight of them brings too much pain.  They are constant reminders of their loss.

It has been said that it is wise not to make any major decisions for at least a year.  If you  dispose of things or if you sell your home, you may regret it a little later down the line.  It takes time to adjust to a major change in your life.  You need to give yourself that time.

I think that I am coping better with my loss than some people that I know. First of all is my faith. Secondly, I am staying busy and trying to establish new routines to replace the old ones which no longer work.

I always wanted to learn to play the piano but for various reasons never did.  Now I have paid for online piano lessons and have a decent keyboard to learn on.  When I have a few minutes (or hours) I can go in there and just play or learn (or both). There is nothing to prove to anyone else so it is just for the love of music and love of learning.

I still can’t fix scrambled eggs and sausage in the mornings. Hopefully at some point I can. But that is something that I did for many years for my husband.  Many routines have been changed out of necessity.

I still miss him and probably always will.  But he would not want me to grieve myself to death. That is what happens to a lot of people when couples are close.

You have to choose life. I am a believer and I believe that as long as the Lord has left us here then it is for a purpose. When our purpose is fulfilled and our work is over then we will go home to a better place and not before.

You may feel that you have no purpose.  I disagree. If you are here then you have a purpose. You just have not found it yet. Give yourself a little time. Get busy and you soon will have found your purpose. Life with purpose is life worth living.